100 Years...100 Movie Quotes....100 Trivial Objections

I’ve been meaning to write about American Film Institute’s 100 Years…100 Movie Quotes for quite some time. It was on TV last month. I didn’t watch it because, well, have you seen one of those AFI specials? I have read their list of 100 quotes though and as futile as it may be I will pick it apart starting now.

With this post I will submit some alternate quotes from the movies that were represented by their list. The quotes that made their list are in blue. My comments are in black followed by alternate suggestions in red.

Gone With the Wind

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

After all, tomorrow is another day!

As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again.

The “don’t give a damn” quote is number one on their list. No surprise there. I’ll give them that one. The other two are memorable, but these two stick out in my memory more:

"Fiddle-dee-dee. War, war, war. This war talk’s spoiling all the fun at every party this spring."

“You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how.”

The Godfather Trilogy

I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse.

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.

These two are classics, no doubt. The first quote is from the original and the second quote from the sequel. I could list a hundred Godfather quotes, but I’ll keep it narrowed down to two quotes from the original and one each from the two sequels:

“Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.”

"No Sicilian can refuse any request on his daughter's wedding day."

"I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart."

“Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.”

The Wizard of Oz

Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.

There's no place like home.

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!

Good stuff from one of my favorite movies ever, but I’d like to add perhaps the gayest quote from this gayest of all gay movies:

"Of course some people do go both ways."

Casablanca

Here's looking at you, kid.

Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Play it, Sam. Play 'As Time Goes By.'

Round up the usual suspects.

We’ll always have Paris.

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.

All of them great, here are a few more...

“Was that cannon fire--or is my heart pounding?”

“I’m not interested in politics. The problems of the world are not in my department. I’m a saloon keeper.”

“I remember every detail. The Germans wore gray, you wore blue.”

“If that plane leaves the ground and you’re not with him, you’ll regret it. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.”

Apocalypse Now

I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

Why not add the rest of this quote?

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Smells like…victory."

White Heat

Made it, Ma! Top of the world!

I love this movie. My favorite line is when Cagney threatens one of his cronies with:

"If that battery is dead, it’ll have company."

The Silence of the Lambs

A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

This one gets a lot of attention but not so much for the actual words, but more so for the noise Anthony Hopkins makes after delivering the line. This quote is better as far as a representation of the movie:

“I’m having an old friend for dinner.”

Midnight Cowboy

I'm walking here! I'm walking here!

That’s a memorable line for sure. I was aware of it and used it before I had ever seen the movie. Again, this one is more representational of the movie:

“I ain’t a for real cowboy, but I am one helluva stud!”

A Few Good Men

You can't handle the truth!

I’ve seen A Few Good Men countless times. It is a guilty pleasure for me. As a matter of fact, it’s such a guilty pleasure that I’m going to include a quote from Tom Cruise in my batch of A Few Good Men quotes:

“You got authorization from Aunt Jenny?”

“I eat breakfast three hundred yards from four thousand Cubans who are trained to kill me, so don’t think for one second, you can come down here, flash your badge, and make me nervous.”

“Don’t I feel like a fucking asshole?”

When Harry Met Sally

I’ll have what she’s having.

Once a quote becomes larger than the movie, my interest in that quote is diminished…with a few exceptions. This isn’t one of those exceptions though. Here are two of my favorite When Harry Met Sally quotes:

“There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance. You’re the worst kind: you’re high maintenance, but you think you’re low maintenance.”

“No, you did not have great sex with Sheldon. A Sheldon can do your income tax. If you need a root canal, Sheldon’s your man.”

Field of Dreams

If you build it, he will come.

This is one of my favorite movies of all time and “If you build it…” is certainly one of those movie quotes that people use even if they haven’t seen the movie. Just for the hell of it, here’s the famous James Earl Jones speech from the movie:

“The one constant through all the years has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers, been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again, but baseball has marked the time. This field, this game is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good and could be again.”

A League of Their Own

There's no crying in baseball!

Fine, but how about this one…

“Lord, hallowed be thy name. May our feet be swift, may our bats be mighty, and may our balls be plentiful.”

Annie Hall

La-dee-da, la-dee-da.

This is my favorite movie ever. Sit back because this might take a while…

“I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member. That’s the key joke of my adult life, in terms of my relationships with women.”

“We need the eggs."

“I don’t want to live in a city where the only cultural advantage is that you can make a right turn on a red light.”

“Don’t you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we’re left-wing communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.”

“Everything our parents said was good, was bad: sun, red meat, milk, college.”

“I can’t get with any religion that advertises in the back of Popular Mechanics.”

“I was thrown out of NYU my freshman year for cheating on my metaphysics final. I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.”

“I was in analysis with a strict Freudian, and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.”

“My Grammy never gave gifts. She was too busy being raped by the Cossacks.”

“That was the most fun I’ve ever had without laughing.”

“Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with somebody I love.”

“Why don’t you get William F. Buckley to kill the spider?”

“A relationship, I think is--is like a shark. You know, it has to constantly move forward or it dies, and I think what we got on our hands here is a dead shark.”

“I forgot my mantra.”

Dr. Strangelove

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!

Another one of my favorite movies and here’s a couple additions:

“Mr. President, I’m not saying we wouldn’t get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops... uh, depending on the breaks.”

“Mein Fuhrer, I can walk!”

Chinatown

Forget it, Jake, it's Chinatown.

This is three of my top 10 movies in a row, so you know I’m going to have some more suggestions on this one:

“You’ve got a nasty reputation, Mr. Gittes. I like that.”

“Politicians, ugly buildings, and whores all get respectable if they last long enough.”

“See, Mr. Gittes, most people never have to face the fact that at the right time and the right place they are capable of anything.”

“I don’t get tough with anyone, Mr. Gittes. My lawyer does.”

“She’s my daughter! She’s my sister! My daughter! My sister!”

Airplane!

Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious…and don't call me Shirley.

Here comes the deluge:

“Oh, stewardess. I speak jive.”

“Chump don’t want no help, chump don’t get no help. Jive ass-dude don’t got no brains anyhow.”

“Alright, get me Ham on five, hold the Mayo.”

“Ever been in a cockpit before?”

“You ever seen a grown man naked?”

“Joey, do you ever hang around a gymnasium?”

“Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?”

“Joey, have you ever been inside a Turkish prison?”

“There’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you’ll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who know how to fly a plane?

"First time?"
“No. I’ve been nervous lots of times.”

“Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon, Many Motta.”

“Jacobs, what have you got on Elaine Dickinson?”
“Well, I’m two inches taller, a better dancer, and much more fun to be with.”

“I can sum it all up in just one word: courage, dedication, daring, pride, pluck, spirit, grit, mettle, and G-U-T-S, guts. Why, Ted Striker’s got more guts in his little finger than most of us have in our large intestine, including the colon!”

“I am serious. And stop calling me Shirley.”

“I haven’t seen anything like this since the Anita Bryant concert.”

“Flying a plane is no different from riding a bicycle. It’s just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.”

“I can make a hat, or a broach, or a pterodactyl.”

“Oh, it’s a big pretty, white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows, and wheels. It looks like a big Tylenol.”

“No thank you. I take it black... like my men.”

Okay, I’ll stop this post here. I could list a ton from both Animal House and Caddyshack, but that would take forever. The next post will be movie quotes from movies that didn’t make the AFI’s list.